EPIC FAIL

Well I'll be the first to admit that 35 Before 35 was an epic fail. I allowed the stress and the pleasures/guilt of overeating take over. I'm trying a new approach with a new blog. Stay tuned!

7-24-10, 191.5 lbs

Can't say I'm happy with the weight gain, but I may as well deal with it positively until I shed some of the pounds. Moping about it is not going to make it go away anytime soon!

Starting Over

7-19-10, 194 lbs.

Unfortunately I gained my weight back and then some. Boooooooooooo! I couldn't handle the second semester work stress and balancing life and PIGGED almost daily to my hearts content.

The culprit?

Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha Espresso

It is sooooo good. I was already regressing back to my old ways and then my husband introduced me to this coffee, and it was over once I became hooked. I remember the date February 13, 2010. We ended a great birthday night out on the town at Starbucks.

I dealt with stress nearly everyday at work and didn't exercise. Some days were more stressful than others. On less stressful days, I treated myself to a short cup. On the crazy days, I downed a GRANDE. Calories galore. I couldn't cope in a healthy way and I'm definitely paying for it now.

Well, there's no more excuses. My daughter turned 4 years old today and blaming the weight gain on baby weight can absolutely no longer be used as an excuse. I'm not giving up and will continue to try to shed this thickness, lol!

Wishful Thinking

Call it wishful thinking, but I was hoping to lose all that holiday damage from my one single workout session this morning. The scale read 184 lbs. this morning. Dang. I'm sitting here on my lunch break glad to be back at work to be honest. The busyness of it all keeps me from just sitting around the house eating throughout the day, but I was grateful for the mental break nonetheless. I'm just now feeling the guilt from not working out for 2 straight weeks. I'll know how to handle things a bit better this December. Time to refocus.

9.5 lbs. Lost, 25.5 to go

Happy New Year!! Seems like being home on winter break has caused me to have forgotten that I was trying to lose weight. The intent was NOT take a total vacation from working out and eating whatever whenever. It seems like I nearly abandoned the fact that I'm trying to reach a goal. Dang, I should've never eased up. I'll get back on track. I'm not giving up, but it doesn't look like 35 before 35 will happen....more like 35 after 35 LOL! If I can at least lose 20 before 35 I'll be content.

One thing I like about the new year is the optimism of new beginnings. It's a good time to have a renewed mindset and make resolutions! I definitely need to work on my spiritual relationship, growth, and journey. I started a running list of resolutions. It's not complete, but here's what I have so far...

1. Exercise 5x a week
2. Get to church on time
3. Go to Sunday School once a month
4. Pray on knees (instead of the bed) morning AND night
5. Read Bible chapter daily
6. Post my students grades timely
7. Return their homework timely
8. Pay tithes weekly
9. Pay bills on time all the time
10. Lesson plans on Sunday
11. Children in bed and fed at 8:30 pm
12. Increase $$$ in savings
13. Save $$$ for a vacation
14. Work on financial portfolio/nest egg
15. Eliminate procrastination issues

I'll do my best to stick to it...so far not so good.

The Ongoing Struggle

I woke up feeling optimistic telling myself I can win this battle of the bulge **until** I spotted the homeade peanut brittle boxed and beautifully wrapped on my kitchen counter thanks to my husband's customers (they give us things ranging from cigars, cake balls, to huge bags of onions.) I felt so guilty after eating the first box of peanut brittle given to us last week. --After eating the first patty, I handed the box back to my husband and told him to get rid of it. Keep in mind these patties are nearly 4 inches in diameter. Well, his way of getting rid of it was putting it in his pickup truck parked in the garage...what the mess?? Out of sight was not out of mind in this case. Needless to say the box somehow made it back in the house and I polished it off. Booooo! I'm not even a p-brittle fan, but this is absolutely the best I've ever had. I can't believe he had the audacity to bring home another box last night. I feel the need to throw it away, but I'm torn between keeping it and not being wasteful. I just thought of an idea....I'll give it to family when I see them on the New Year's Day. Problem solved. Now, if I can just hold out from not eating another patty until tomorrow.

I thought I was finished with the holiday food obstacle course. I mentioned in the previous post how my dad wanted us to gather together New Year's Day. Getting together is cool, all the food we are planning to eat is not so cool. I've yet to reach to the point of total self control so had it just been me, husband and the children, we would just have black eyed peas w/ jowls for luck and baked chicken....maybe a salad. Instead we're having:

• 3-cheese macaroni and cheese
• turnip greens
• cornbread- sinful recipe made w/ sour cream and whole kernal corn
• grilled chicken
• ribs
• black eyed peas
• sweet potato casserole
• caramel fudge cake

This is the actual menu my dad and I discussed. New Year's Day/New Beginnings and I'm already losing. I'm up to 183.5 lbs b/c I've been showing out these past couple of days and I've yet to go to the gym. Sleeping in has been so much more fun.

I did make a baby step and added 25 songs to my playlist b/c I was getting so bored w/ my workout music. I am so not computer savvy, but I did figure out how to download it on my device. I have included working out on my schedule today (I'm already behind schedule), so I better get a move on it. Maybe I can get 3 days in this week. It's better than not doing anything at all.

Last, if anyone knows me, they know I hate to shop. I hate beauty salons too, but that's another story. However, I live for pedicures but that's another story too. Anyway, I want to look decent and not frumpy, but I never have the time, patience, or money to clothes shop! It's an enjoyable pasttime for many people, but not me. However, I love online shopping....well online window shopping b/c you don't have to dig through racks, search for your size, deal w/ traffic, wait in lines, etc. I spent about 2 hours last night window shopping online. Picked out about $500 (of money I don't have but I bargained shopped) worth of clothing. I was torn between getting clothes that fit now or clothes that is a size smaller. I'll decide later what to do IF I make the purchase. At the rate I'm going, I'll need to get a size larger.

I love tunics. I just find them so age appropriate, flattering, and comfortable. Baby doll dresses, empire/high waisted garments, and belted sweaters are cute on some women, but they alway look like maternity wear on me. I envy women w/ tiny waists! Well I'm off to handle business this New Year's Eve. I've got alot to do before everything closes.

10.5 lbs. Lost, 24.5 to Go!

http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pHHsYi5YTiPymN-ksOtK-Gw&output=html

Happy holidays! Even though this post is marked 12-26-09, I'm actually typing this entry on 12-29-09! I've been so busy doing practically nothing. One of the awesome benefits of teaching is the winter, spring, and summer breaks. I only have a few more days to enjoy the time off until I'm back on the grind.

I'm a bit worried about managing my weight this holiday season because of so many opportunities to pig out. There were so many obstacles this latter half of 2009. I had to get through:

• Halloween (candy)
• my son's November birthday (dinner outing, cake, ice cream)
• Thanksgiving (turkey & dressing and all the fixin's)
• and worst of all Christmas (potlucks at work, 2 weeks off work SITTING at the house, cakes, food at family gatherings, etc.)

I've still got to get through New Years b/c my dad wants us to get together. He's a great cook and is doing some of the cooking. I'm trying to start the new year on the right foot, but I don't know how that's going to happen w/ the menu we're planning.

I have to mention that last Wednesday (12-23-09) I "officially" got off my diet/workout regimen. I did well the first few days home sticking to the workout plan exercising on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I was honestly miserable. I was tired of waking up early and fighting the urge of not eating all the bad stuff. So I threw in the towel telling myself it will only be temporary.

Well I have to admit I showed out and indulged! You name it, I ate it! I love food, I dream about food. I think the highlight of my eating was the chocolate chip walnut cookies I made Christmas morning and the below cake recipe I made also that morning. Words can't describe how gooood the carmel fudge cake is. I wouldn't allow myself to take any home from where I took it to our family gathering, but I definitely ate my fair share while there. The last time I made the cake was a few years ago when my college buddy came for a visit. We ate on that cake late at night for what seemed like days laughing and catching up and what not. When she headed home, I stepped on the scale and GAINED 7 pounds. I recently read on the intenet how this recipe has a whopping 2200+ calories. Good grief. The worst part about it is that I don't feel guilty.

........Well now, I'm officially back on the diet. I fought the urge late last night to head to the convenience store to buy pretzels, a chocolate muffin (haven't had those in a LONG time), and grape juice. I would've done it had I not been so sleepy. This morning that craving somewhat subsided and I found the courage to step on the scale and was not as shocked as I thought. At one point my weight had risen to 183.5-- a 5 pound gain since my 12-19-09 weigh in, but this morning I was at 181.5 lbs. --the same as my 12-26-09 recorded weigh in. I didn't get a chance to work out this morning so I'll guess I'll have to do that sometime today in order to get my 5x a week work out in.

Lord knows I've got a stressful first half of 2010 ahead of me w/ work, projects, and certification exams, so I'm bracing myself. I'm convinced that stress alone will help me lose this weight and hopefully not have the opposite effect.